Help

This has quickly just become my place to come and vent. The closest thing I have to a friendly ear, these days.

I'm angry, perhaps more than I should be under these circumstances. I know I have rage issues, that sometimes I just stew and stew until I explode. I know it's wrong, and cruel to those who love me, but at the same time, it's the only way I know how to deal with anger.

When I ask for help, don't agree, then play video games until you fall asleep at your desk. If I ask for help doing half of the dishes, don't ask me how many I want you to do. Just eyeball it. If you volunteer to do all of the dishes, don't leave stuff on the stove, or the counter. If I get up with you every morning because I love you enough to want to help you have a good start to your day, don't leave me seething at night so that I can't focus on any of the tasks I am left with and unable to sleep.

When I obviously want to yell and scream, either give me a reason to, or give me a reason to not want to. Don't leave me seething, because I will go to bed angry and wake up angrier. When I tell you I'm not feeling well, and sleeping entirely too much, don't expect me to just go about doing all of the chores while you relax after a day at work. Especially when said day at work is commonly so boring and lackadaisical that you hide in the bathroom to play sudoku.

It takes more thank "Thank you for making breakfast," and "Thank you for making dinner" to show appreciation. I know that's more than a lot of people get, but I have also gotten more from you. If you are going to start slipping into shitty habits, don't get pissy when I stop folding the laundry as soon as it comes out of the dryer.

I'm really trying. I'm really trying not to backslide into being a miserable person who doesn't care if they have a sink full of dishes for two days. I have come so far, and I don't want to backslide, so stop giving me reasons to.